Today is Kid Glove Day!

Today is Kid Glove Day!

I am declaring that today, March 15th is International “Kid Gloves Day”.

 

You may have heard the saying “handle them with kid gloves”. When we are handling someone or something with Kid Gloves, we are being gentle, kind, and caring. This is a good motto for every day; some days this is key.

I think you know what I mean, there are some days that you just have to extra supportive and caring. We have many kid-glove days and moments in our home. It is not uncommon for me to say “today is a kid-glove kind of day”.

I can often tell by the look on our son’s face if kid-gloves are needed. Honestly, it can be heartbreaking when you see your little person’s face come out of the door from school and you can tell that it was a heavy/hard day. That is when you show up with a smile, open arms, and kid-gloves. I am never sure if this means we are staying longer to play after school or if we are beating the traffic home to have a snuggle and chat on the couch with our favourite snack in hand (usually dark chocolate).

 

Today, I believe the world could use a Kid Gloves Day. 

 

It has been a year since the whole world shifted into a pandemic mode. Hand sanitizer, toilet paper, and many food staples were being scooped up and hard to buy. They were flying off the shelves! People began to cover their faces and refrain from close contact.

We have seen a number of people dying, becoming ill, or being afraid of becoming ill. It has been hard, heavy, and frightening at times.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

We are beginning to see the numbers of infected people dropping drastically. People are not dying as often as they were before. Vaccinations are happening.

Our social interactions are still limited. Hand sanitizer is still used. Masks are pretty normal at this time (I really miss seeing all the facial expressions).

So today is treat each other with Kid Gloves Day!!

Smile even if your lips are covered as your eyes will smile too! Air Hugs and Air High Fives for the win!! Treat everyone with an extra little kindness and then feel that pressure lift off your shoulders!

Routines and Schedules

Routines and Schedules

It is times like this that I want to go back to my past self and give myself a high five!! The routines we put in place when our son was 3 years old or younger are still in place with some minor changes through the years and they are still working well!! Bliss I tell you!

A routine is a series of things we do before or after an event. A schedule is based on set times certain events occur.

Schedules and Routines both have their place.

I find that set schedules do not work as well with infants but having a variety of routines in place does work really well.

We have a screen time schedule here which works like a charm! Our son watches a show about 8 am, 11 am (when he is home), and 4 pm. We do have to be a bit flexible but we put in this place we would focus hugely on watching his programs. Once the set times were in place the constant asking for a show came to a complete stop. My response is “yes you can at __ time” After staying consistent with this for a while he really took to it.

I often have parents ask why their child is so well-behaved at daycare or school and not as much at home. The first thing is that children will unload their feelings at home where they feel safe. The second thing is that there is a great deal of structure with routines and schedules so the children know what to expect.

I often recommend that parents maintain similar schedules and routines at home.

You may find that you continue certain routines from your childhood. It is really cool how routines and schedules can really help children feel safe, secure, and be willing to do the steps without even realizing it.

I have to admit that our morning routine is my favorite.

Morning routine:

  1. Come in and give mom a hug
  2. Bathroom
  3. Snuggles with Mom and/or Dad
  4. Get Dressed
  5. Start watching You-Tube (Pause when breakfast is ready)
  6. Eat Breakfast
  7. Call Grandma
  8. Brush Teeth
  9. Put on socks
  10. Finishing watching You-Tube while getting the outdoor gear on
  11. Out the Door

It typically is very smooth and we have been doing a routine similar to this since he was 3!

There are a few things that you can do to help your child get familiar with a routine.

  1. Be consistent
  2. Use visuals (written list for older children and list using pictures for younger children)
  3. Use verbal reminders
  4. Use a timer to remind your child when they have to move to the next step

You can use routines throughout your day! Have fun fitting in the routines and do not forget to make them a little fun for your child as well!!

If you would like some help figuring out how routines and schedules can help your family, please feel free to book a free 15 minute consult to ask how I can help. You can book the free call by clicking on the following link https://calendly.com/brenda-mcsween/15min.

Below is the video I did and based this blog post on. Feel free to listen…​

What do you need today??

What do you need today??

Parenting is not an easy gig. There are going to be many days where you feel like you are a rockstar parent and other days where you feel depleted and/or defeated as a parent.

In order for you to be the parent we want to be, it is important that you are able to focus on yourself first. (You can stop laughing now or prevent the eye roll from happening)

It really is true. How can you be the parent you want to be if you are not focusing on the things that you need or want?? It is simply not possible. You will become exhausted and not know where to turn. 

Yes, I am speaking from experience. 

After returning from an amazing weekend, I expected that I would be completely excited to be back and want to jump into doing it all. That is the complete opposite to what I really needed. 

After retreating for a few minutes, I was able to realize I needed to sit back and take it all in. 

My family thought something was wrong or that I did not want to be there. 

The fact that I did not want to be there was not totally wrong. I did want to be there but I also longed to be able to do things on my schedule and not the schedule dictated by everyone else or the needs of the home. 

I allowed myself to have my feelings and then I gave myself the time to process. At first I felt very guilty about my feelings. When I was able to relax and become more at peace with the overwhelm I was feeling I was able to be the parent I wanted to be. 

So what do you need??…

 

Do you need to take 5 minutes to regroup? (This was all I needed)

Do you need to plow through and get stuff done without interruption?

Do you need to tap out with a partner, family member or friend so you can regroup? (You do not have to do it all!!) 

Do you need to fully engage with your child? Sometimes we need to let the house get dirty or serve a quick and easy (processed) meal so you can play and have fun with your child.

Do you just need a hug? Don’t forget to ask for one! You are worth it! 

In summary, take the time you need so you can be the caregiver you need to be!!

What is the Number One Question??

What is the Number One Question??

 

There are many questions I receive from tired parents. The number 1 question I get is…when is the perfect time to sleep train my child?

In the video above, I discuss the important factors to consider when you deciding if and when you should sleep train.

I do realize that some people do not believe in sleep training. My view of sleep training is a bit different.

For me, sleep training is improving your child’s sleep but it does not have to involve crying. There are so many things that you can do to help your child sleep. If you are wanting to make some changes watch the video above to get my idea of the Perfect Time to Sleep Train.

Best gift

Best gift

I realize that this sounds cheesy but it is a reality. The best gift you can give your child is your presence.

We can get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Making sure our children and other family members are taken care of purchasing the perfect gift. When you get to the center of what they really want, it is you.

It can be really hard to actually be present in mind and body. I have caught myself several times thinking about everything I need to do instead of being in the moment.

So to make the best of this holiday season, try your best to be physically and mentally present when your child is there.

Now, let’s be real. You are not going to damage your child if you are not 100% present all the time. Remember it takes 10 to 15 minutes of child-led (directed play) for a child to feel connected through the day. If you are having an off day you can reset by spending a few minutes playing with your child.

Not sure about you but I find that it is really hard to be present when I overloaded. So when you are taking a break or do something for yourself, remember you are recharging so you can be present in a truly authentic manner.

I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season

Brenda

Why? What I am doing wrong?

Why? What I am doing wrong?

What am I doing wrong?

 

I get asked this question a great deal. This week I had this questions posed to me by a few people.

This is when I wish I was able to be right there in the room with you.  I would want you to see the look in my eye when I am talking to you.

 

What would I say..

Well here is what I would say…”You are not doing anything wrong!”.

You may see a little tear in my eye or it may roll right on down my face.

 

Here is the thing..

Parenting is not easy! When you see another person that appears to have their “sh!t together” and they are rocking this parenting thing..I will guarantee you that they have had many days where they doubted themselves and they may be doubting themselves right now but their strength is with putting on a brave face and acting like the world is fine.

So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and let’s get to why is your child not doing what you would like. (this can be sleeping well, toilet training, sharing..)

The number one reason I see children testing limits or doing things differently with their parents…(Any Guesses????)…

Well here is the answer… Your child feels safe with you..or your child wants to be with you that extra few minutes..or your child is not quite confident and needs the confidence from you…or…(you get the point).

 

There are so many factors in play that will influence how your child responds to a situation. Parenting is a game of trial and error!

Things will get better and when it feels like you are doing something wrong..remember someone else feels that as well and that trying different things will result in a solution for your family.