What do you need today??

What do you need today??

Parenting is not an easy gig. There are going to be many days where you feel like you are a rockstar parent and other days where you feel depleted and/or defeated as a parent.

In order for you to be the parent we want to be, it is important that you are able to focus on yourself first. (You can stop laughing now or prevent the eye roll from happening)

It really is true. How can you be the parent you want to be if you are not focusing on the things that you need or want?? It is simply not possible. You will become exhausted and not know where to turn. 

Yes, I am speaking from experience. 

After returning from an amazing weekend, I expected that I would be completely excited to be back and want to jump into doing it all. That is the complete opposite to what I really needed. 

After retreating for a few minutes, I was able to realize I needed to sit back and take it all in. 

My family thought something was wrong or that I did not want to be there. 

The fact that I did not want to be there was not totally wrong. I did want to be there but I also longed to be able to do things on my schedule and not the schedule dictated by everyone else or the needs of the home. 

I allowed myself to have my feelings and then I gave myself the time to process. At first I felt very guilty about my feelings. When I was able to relax and become more at peace with the overwhelm I was feeling I was able to be the parent I wanted to be. 

So what do you need??…

 

Do you need to take 5 minutes to regroup? (This was all I needed)

Do you need to plow through and get stuff done without interruption?

Do you need to tap out with a partner, family member or friend so you can regroup? (You do not have to do it all!!) 

Do you need to fully engage with your child? Sometimes we need to let the house get dirty or serve a quick and easy (processed) meal so you can play and have fun with your child.

Do you just need a hug? Don’t forget to ask for one! You are worth it! 

In summary, take the time you need so you can be the caregiver you need to be!!

What is the Number One Question??

What is the Number One Question??

 

There are many questions I receive from tired parents. The number 1 question I get is…when is the perfect time to sleep train my child?

In the video above, I discuss the important factors to consider when you deciding if and when you should sleep train.

I do realize that some people do not believe in sleep training. My view of sleep training is a bit different.

For me, sleep training is improving your child’s sleep but it does not have to involve crying. There are so many things that you can do to help your child sleep. If you are wanting to make some changes watch the video above to get my idea of the Perfect Time to Sleep Train.

Best gift

Best gift

I realize that this sounds cheesy but it is a reality. The best gift you can give your child is your presence.

We can get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Making sure our children and other family members are taken care of purchasing the perfect gift. When you get to the center of what they really want, it is you.

It can be really hard to actually be present in mind and body. I have caught myself several times thinking about everything I need to do instead of being in the moment.

So to make the best of this holiday season, try your best to be physically and mentally present when your child is there.

Now, let’s be real. You are not going to damage your child if you are not 100% present all the time. Remember it takes 10 to 15 minutes of child-led (directed play) for a child to feel connected through the day. If you are having an off day you can reset by spending a few minutes playing with your child.

Not sure about you but I find that it is really hard to be present when I overloaded. So when you are taking a break or do something for yourself, remember you are recharging so you can be present in a truly authentic manner.

I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season

Brenda

Why? What I am doing wrong?

Why? What I am doing wrong?

What am I doing wrong?

 

I get asked this question a great deal. This week I had this questions posed to me by a few people.

This is when I wish I was able to be right there in the room with you.  I would want you to see the look in my eye when I am talking to you.

 

What would I say..

Well here is what I would say…”You are not doing anything wrong!”.

You may see a little tear in my eye or it may roll right on down my face.

 

Here is the thing..

Parenting is not easy! When you see another person that appears to have their “sh!t together” and they are rocking this parenting thing..I will guarantee you that they have had many days where they doubted themselves and they may be doubting themselves right now but their strength is with putting on a brave face and acting like the world is fine.

So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and let’s get to why is your child not doing what you would like. (this can be sleeping well, toilet training, sharing..)

The number one reason I see children testing limits or doing things differently with their parents…(Any Guesses????)…

Well here is the answer… Your child feels safe with you..or your child wants to be with you that extra few minutes..or your child is not quite confident and needs the confidence from you…or…(you get the point).

 

There are so many factors in play that will influence how your child responds to a situation. Parenting is a game of trial and error!

Things will get better and when it feels like you are doing something wrong..remember someone else feels that as well and that trying different things will result in a solution for your family. 

 

 

A Perfect Time to be Thankful

A Perfect Time to be Thankful

As we enter into the Thanksgiving weekend here is Canada, i want to take the opportunity to express some things that I am very Thankful for.

I have a long list of things that I am extremely Thankful for. The following is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

I am Thankful that..

1. I cook supper. That means I have food to cook supper with!

2. I have a messy house. It means I have a house!

3. I hear “Mom” “Mom” “Mom” on repeat. I am a Mom!! I did not think I was going to be blessed with this opportunity less then 10 years ago.

4. I get frustrated with my Mom telling me what to do. It means that my Mom is still here and I am blessed to have her.

5. We laid my Dad and Father n Law to rest. They are at peace and not suffering.

6. I miss my friends and family. It means I have friends and family!!

7. It takes 10 minutes to get out the door. I am usually going out the door with my amazing family!

 

So now you get my point!

There are so many thingns that we do that we can be thankful for if we just look at the reason the situation happened.

As parents (Really as a human) there are going to be many times that you are disappointed, upset or frustrated. When you look back on those things with a different perspective it will bring out the things that you can be Thankful for.

I hope you have a Wonderful and Thankful Weekend filled with turning what feels like a chore into a great memory.

Feel free to comment below with your reasons for being Thankful.

As Always, Be The Parent You Want to Be!!